Thursday, April 23, 2009

Sleepless in Seattle Wichita

While I was pregnant there were only a handful of people that warned me about sleep deprivation. And from that handful, I don't recall any of them telling me it would last uhhhh, 10 months or more. I will try my best to keep the whining to a minimum here, but to those who know me best know that this has been a struggle to say the least.


Admittedly, it has gotten a lot better but I would be a liar if I said I've gotten 8 straight hours of sleep since EC moved from my womb to his room. Don't get me wrong, he has slept several 8+ hour stretches but I have not. You see, I had been so used to him waking a time or two at night, that once he started sleeping longer I would still wake up and begin to imagine all the things that could be wrong. Is his blanket wrapped around his head? Did he flip on his belly and now can't breathe? Did he fall out of his crib? You just never know. Sooooo, I became the world's quietest tip-toer and would check on him a couple times a night. Sometimes I'd even gently put my hand on him to make sure he was still breathing! Am I the only one who has purposely woken their baby up to make sure they were ok?  This crazy routine went on for about 6 or 7 months. NOW, I will stay in my own bed like a good little girl unless, of course, "someone" hollers for me.


And this, my friends, happens once a night about 90% of the time. The other 10% consists of multiple wakings (3%) or a FULL NIGHT OF SLEEP (7%) for EC. I know, I know, some of you are probably shaking your head wondering why we haven't "Ferberized" little EC. Well, to be honest, I can't stomach the crying. There seems to be a very strong maternal-issued bone in my body that forbids any kind of extended crying, I just can not allow it. Nick and I did try our own version of the Ferber method, and it was successful in getting EC to easily fall asleep, just not to stay asleep. It also involved a lot of crying. I wonder if there is an adult version of the Ferber method?


Every single night as I tell my tired baby goodnight, I think to myself, "this will be the night, this will be the night" and at 4am, as I'm sitting in the rocking chair nursing EC, I actually think to myself that I wouldn't trade this moment for the world. Holding my half-asleep, warm-bodied, soft-skinned, yummy-smelling, beautiful baby boy. Just delicious, don't you think?



Yawn. All this talk of sleep has made me sleepy. Maybe tonight will be the night!

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